Masked Thief
They
lurk in the dark, hide in the shadows waiting for the right time to
strike. They are Raccoons - the
unbelievable and annoyingly witty animals that survive in the real world,
scavenging and stealing our food, causing chaos in your local suburban
area. ‘Coons have magic abilities
making human traps and obstacles no problem for these masked thieves, they are
untrapable and cannot be seen unless wanting too. They move in the dark, only
coming out when the sun has gone down and the humans have long been asleep,
leaving the opportunity to wreak havoc on suburbia.
Raccoon's
dominate the United States. They can be found in every state (excluding Alaska)
terrorizing homeowners and their precious gardens and garbage cans. Raccoons
are an iconic backyard occurrence in this country. Every discussion at the monthly neighborhood meeting is how the
coons’ destroyed the house or how they ate the cat. The hero and king of the
wild frontier, Davy Crockett made coons’ famous by sporting the Raccoon hunter
hat look, turning raccoon hats into a giant craze with every cool kid having
one or wanting one.
How
have they had so much success in the world of humans, you ask? Smarts is the key to their success. They
adapt and learn different environments at an extremely fast pace, along with
teaching their young all of their tips of annoying a human. They learn traps,
doors, locks, and all the things you use to try and stop them. They only get smarter and stronger. Their
wits are like no other animal making them able to thrive so easily in the harsh
environment we humans have created. They are also not very picky. Omnivores are
what it is called when an animal eats vegetation and meat, but raccoons take it
a step further by eating everything. The trash, the hamster, or anything else
that it can fit in its garbage disposal of a mouth will be eaten if it’s hungry
enough.
In
conclusion, humans can’t stand raccoons because they finally found an animal
that can outsmart and outwit them. We humans like to keep our pride, but those
thieves keep stealing it, along with our garbage.
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